Ok so I have only had four views on my blogs to those four you are in for a real treat but if no one ever checks my blog I have to document a few funny things that happened to me long ago in my youth for my own sakes if nothings else.
Years and years ago I was a foolish and wreckless girl. I was drinking lots and doing other dumb things. By day I was a Bridget Jones type office worker, you know the type chubby, inkstains on the clothes and dressed like a prostitute at work. Oh the shame!! By night I was out partying and meeting creepy people. I went to lots of concerts and hung around strangers in parking lots and smoked obscene amounts of dope. I am not proud of this but here is a long and amusing narrative of one of those instances.
Myself and my younger and way more innocent sister went to Lillith Faire with my former best friend who I will call Sponge. Just a week prior to this I had introduced my sister to smoking weed by laughingly holding out a joint and saying things like "youre going to do it." So I stuck my lighter and my bag into my bra and off the three of us went. We met up with Sponges straight edge friend who was nice and actually had a future ahead of her that she didnt care to blow. So Sponges friend quickly went off alone. No sooner had we gotten through security I whipped out my set and we headed for some bushes and smoked up like dirty hippies. In the matter of time it took for the shopping booths to get set up we were pretty well in the bag. Giggling and being stupid on a picnic table. A European man came over with some type of crazy camera and asked if he could film us "having fun" for a documentary. We said sure and pretended to be in control of ourselves. The man and his crew set up quite far away and kept on watching us. In my paranoid mind things started to seem much differently. Smiling a big fake smile I was now sweating and whispering............"this was stupid we are going to get in big trouble, they know they can tell, oh man what is going to happen?? dont look oh man oh fuck...." The three of us spent quite some time mulling over running into the woods suddenly while laughing long fake laughs for the camera. Finally after sweating it out and almost losing our bowles over it the man came closer with his camera. It looked no camera I have ever seen and he turned a crank on it and pulled out some awful looking black and white photo of us that we could keep. Sponge stuffed it down her top and off we went to sleep through the Dixie Chicks performance.
Upon waking up on our blanket we found ourselves not at all sober but hungry and cranky when we spotted a man selling giant bubble wands nearby. He was a homely little thing and was making large almost human being sized bubbles. This upset and scared us and we became enraged. One of us started to scream "fuck off" and the like and the others joined in til everyone around us looked on in shock and bubbleman sauntered away.
We found ourselves binging on cookies and brownies during some other terrible sets and smoking evermore through the day. We ran into a girl I knew around town who was in a lesbian relationship. My friend screamed at her to come over and she did with her family. My freind spent the next five minutes asking her about her gay lover all the while this poor girl with mom in tow tried to deny the whole scandal. My friend suddenly snapped, "you are gay and we all know it we are not all lying, God stop denying it what the fuck is wrong with you? Everyone knows you are gay." Oh again the shame! We ran from there!
I found myself dancing the night away in a state of hazy gless tempered with mild paranoia and some hostility but over all a good time was had by all.
The next morning when I arrived to work two hours late with some bullshit story of what had happened to me to make me so late, the supervisor from the other department came by my desk. This man was young like me but highly succesful to do sucking ass and nepitism. He smirked at me over his coffee cup and whispered...."I saw you at Lillith Faire you know....." I gasped and I could feel my face turning crimson...."Oh really?" He asked if I recalled him saying hi and when I informed him I did not infact remember that at all he laughed and said he came by my blanket once when I was sleeping between two girls he said hi and asked if I was alright, apparantly I said, "Im fine just tired....go to hell." I feared my job for a few hours then just up all that embarrassment out of my head for a long time.
And one more funny incident involving a concert, friend Sponge and some dope once more. Years ago Sponge, myself the current best friend and this Parma girl went to a show at Nautica. When we left the car a large scary man strolled up and said he would give us some weed for a cigarrette ofcourse we obliged and then expected free dope. He then told us it was going to cost us. I didnt really know what was happening but we were dumb enough to follow him far back into a ditch and do some business with him. He wanted fifty bucks. I wanted the dope so did everyone else. I only had a bank card though and no cash so Sponge agreed to pick up the tab for this after a short pow wow. He then pulled something from his pocket and put it in Sponges hand. It looked like poop and as the man ran off I asked her if it was in fact shit. She sniffed it and said it didnt smell like shit but she had no clue what it was. She placed it in her pocket and off we went to the show. Parma girl informed us that she was a drug dealer and was totally ghetto and from the poverty stricken west side. She also told us we had totally been scammed and she had just sat back and let it happen to us becuase we deserved it for being so dumb. Current best freind shrugged and suggested we just forget about it for now. We had a great time and on the way home Parma girl kept insisting it was oregano and nothing but. Sponge got really pissed and thew it out the window, cursing all the way. Current Best Friend and I just laughed and felt stupid but not too mad about it.
A few months later current best freind came home from her summer trip to the UK and invited us over. She asked if we still talked to Parma Girl and we rolled our eyes, "no way that girl was trouble she was a liar and she was crazy", we said. Best friend laughed her ass off then said "I knew she was no drug dealer, when we were at that show she said to dump that stuff and it was oregano, bullshit girls, cause I got some of that same stuff when I was away and it was hashish, yeah that stuff she told you to dump was pure hashish and it was awesome!" OOOOH damn that stupid Param girl!!!!!
Years and years ago I was a foolish and wreckless girl. I was drinking lots and doing other dumb things. By day I was a Bridget Jones type office worker, you know the type chubby, inkstains on the clothes and dressed like a prostitute at work. Oh the shame!! By night I was out partying and meeting creepy people. I went to lots of concerts and hung around strangers in parking lots and smoked obscene amounts of dope. I am not proud of this but here is a long and amusing narrative of one of those instances.
Myself and my younger and way more innocent sister went to Lillith Faire with my former best friend who I will call Sponge. Just a week prior to this I had introduced my sister to smoking weed by laughingly holding out a joint and saying things like "youre going to do it." So I stuck my lighter and my bag into my bra and off the three of us went. We met up with Sponges straight edge friend who was nice and actually had a future ahead of her that she didnt care to blow. So Sponges friend quickly went off alone. No sooner had we gotten through security I whipped out my set and we headed for some bushes and smoked up like dirty hippies. In the matter of time it took for the shopping booths to get set up we were pretty well in the bag. Giggling and being stupid on a picnic table. A European man came over with some type of crazy camera and asked if he could film us "having fun" for a documentary. We said sure and pretended to be in control of ourselves. The man and his crew set up quite far away and kept on watching us. In my paranoid mind things started to seem much differently. Smiling a big fake smile I was now sweating and whispering............"this was stupid we are going to get in big trouble, they know they can tell, oh man what is going to happen?? dont look oh man oh fuck...." The three of us spent quite some time mulling over running into the woods suddenly while laughing long fake laughs for the camera. Finally after sweating it out and almost losing our bowles over it the man came closer with his camera. It looked no camera I have ever seen and he turned a crank on it and pulled out some awful looking black and white photo of us that we could keep. Sponge stuffed it down her top and off we went to sleep through the Dixie Chicks performance.
Upon waking up on our blanket we found ourselves not at all sober but hungry and cranky when we spotted a man selling giant bubble wands nearby. He was a homely little thing and was making large almost human being sized bubbles. This upset and scared us and we became enraged. One of us started to scream "fuck off" and the like and the others joined in til everyone around us looked on in shock and bubbleman sauntered away.
We found ourselves binging on cookies and brownies during some other terrible sets and smoking evermore through the day. We ran into a girl I knew around town who was in a lesbian relationship. My friend screamed at her to come over and she did with her family. My freind spent the next five minutes asking her about her gay lover all the while this poor girl with mom in tow tried to deny the whole scandal. My friend suddenly snapped, "you are gay and we all know it we are not all lying, God stop denying it what the fuck is wrong with you? Everyone knows you are gay." Oh again the shame! We ran from there!
I found myself dancing the night away in a state of hazy gless tempered with mild paranoia and some hostility but over all a good time was had by all.
The next morning when I arrived to work two hours late with some bullshit story of what had happened to me to make me so late, the supervisor from the other department came by my desk. This man was young like me but highly succesful to do sucking ass and nepitism. He smirked at me over his coffee cup and whispered...."I saw you at Lillith Faire you know....." I gasped and I could feel my face turning crimson...."Oh really?" He asked if I recalled him saying hi and when I informed him I did not infact remember that at all he laughed and said he came by my blanket once when I was sleeping between two girls he said hi and asked if I was alright, apparantly I said, "Im fine just tired....go to hell." I feared my job for a few hours then just up all that embarrassment out of my head for a long time.
And one more funny incident involving a concert, friend Sponge and some dope once more. Years ago Sponge, myself the current best friend and this Parma girl went to a show at Nautica. When we left the car a large scary man strolled up and said he would give us some weed for a cigarrette ofcourse we obliged and then expected free dope. He then told us it was going to cost us. I didnt really know what was happening but we were dumb enough to follow him far back into a ditch and do some business with him. He wanted fifty bucks. I wanted the dope so did everyone else. I only had a bank card though and no cash so Sponge agreed to pick up the tab for this after a short pow wow. He then pulled something from his pocket and put it in Sponges hand. It looked like poop and as the man ran off I asked her if it was in fact shit. She sniffed it and said it didnt smell like shit but she had no clue what it was. She placed it in her pocket and off we went to the show. Parma girl informed us that she was a drug dealer and was totally ghetto and from the poverty stricken west side. She also told us we had totally been scammed and she had just sat back and let it happen to us becuase we deserved it for being so dumb. Current best freind shrugged and suggested we just forget about it for now. We had a great time and on the way home Parma girl kept insisting it was oregano and nothing but. Sponge got really pissed and thew it out the window, cursing all the way. Current Best Friend and I just laughed and felt stupid but not too mad about it.
A few months later current best freind came home from her summer trip to the UK and invited us over. She asked if we still talked to Parma Girl and we rolled our eyes, "no way that girl was trouble she was a liar and she was crazy", we said. Best friend laughed her ass off then said "I knew she was no drug dealer, when we were at that show she said to dump that stuff and it was oregano, bullshit girls, cause I got some of that same stuff when I was away and it was hashish, yeah that stuff she told you to dump was pure hashish and it was awesome!" OOOOH damn that stupid Param girl!!!!!
posted by clevepunkrockgirle at 7:48 PM
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