The Holiday weekend was great did alot of cool things. The climax was going out with a big group of friends that I dont usually see all that often. At first it was like seeing a ghost cause my one male friend brought a guy we havent talked to in years cause he used to a be a dick suppesdley he is very much a changed man but I doubt it. We drank all night long and had fun singing and talking. Talked to a guy for hours that I really liked flirting with. He asked me for my email so we could talk again before I wrote it down for him another friend told me he is married wow! Good to know, I dont understand how people have the balls to act that way. Who does that? Things were fine with Joe he is so much better now that he doesnt drink. He was thrilled to get pulled over though and say he had not been drinking at all and wouldnt mind a breatalyzer at all ha ha. Even getting pulled over is fun with Joe. Sat on his lap and sang Lou Reed songs togethor at the bar. Had dinner with my sister and her fiancee she is engaged now officially. I have no voice and a terrible cold now though but more tommorrow Im sure!

I have been terribly busy looking for a job this week and I am eager to find something great! Hopefully something will come up soon. I have reunited with an old male friend recently and its been exciting but not in any romantic type of way at all. But things are still not right with me and boy best friend, I just dont really understand him at all anymore he is so unhappy all the time I just dont know whats going on with him besides the fact that he has a broken back and is in agony all the time, other things are bothering him too now. Its complicated for him I guess. I dont know. Waiting for good news about something else and thats hard too, its ridiculous to have to wait on someone else sometimes but I hope that it will turn out the best for me. I have been reading lots too. I read a few true crime books about stupid Scott Peterson, and then I just finished this book about that missing Natalie Holloway it was really sad. I also read this book about Genie a true story of a girl who spent her first thirteen years severly neglected and tied to a potty chair. She was rescued and taught how to talk and in some ways treated like a total experiment and cash cow for doctors. It was an interesting and sad story. I am reading Hitlers Pope right now, its a little slow but I want to know what the story is suppesdly the pope once made a secret deal with the Nazis. I have done lots of good shopping lately. I am also going to Crocker Park for more this week cant wait! I havent cooked anything in a while but I have a taste for Mexican so I think I will cook some really good food this week.

Searching for jobs is frustrating hard work but I am excited about going back to work finally! I hope I will find something I really like that pays well enough. I also try to tell myself to just relax something will come and atleast I can afford to be choosy right now.
I didnt find anything really great at the library today they had no David Sedaris at all! But I am reading something about weight loss that is very boring and a book about forensics that is highly disturbing.
My best friend found a new job and I am so happy for her. It offers much oppurtunity for advancement and lots of travel. I am very proud of her she has worked along time at jobs that did not reward her she really deserves it!
Talked to boy best friend today.....things are complicated now with him and different oh arent they always with boy girl friendships? Not to me, this is all new to me and I guess for him too so this are awkward and just new there and its hard right now.
The weekend is almost here and I am thinking of blowing off one of the parties I was invited to for the reason that I was invited there to meet freinds of my freinds husband. I dont like this scenario for several reasons. One being that I dont even like my freinds husband all that well so I cant imagine I would like his friends. I am not interested in being in the spotlight like that either it makes me nervous. So I am wracking my brain for an out on this one!
This other party should be good but the person I was dying to see since like 1999 can not make it so that is a downer as well but this should be fun with no pressure so I am looking forward to it for sure!
Things are ok here otherwise, ignoring several projects other than that I am fullfilled by Project Runway tonight and ready for bed!

Oh my today was good! This whole weekend was good! Went to early dinner at Mexican Village and had a few drinks, stayed up way too late talking to best freind and laughing with my sister and brother in law who all came by to keep me company. Ran errands today, baked a cake and had a small gathering with freinds. Happened to walk by computer and saw an old old old freind im me to say hi supposedly this friend will stop by later I hope so! I really do. This will be fantastic more later I hope!

Still reading A Woman In Berlin should be done tommorrow, its astonishing to me what people can survive and still be sharp and witty at times, but I guess a woman's work is never done. I am listening to lots of Sinead O'Connor, but the greatest hits is not really what I am interested in, her voice is exquisite and for some reason more so when she sings and screams in Gaelic. Been listening to the new Blue October cd with boy best freind too. I really would never have thought twice about that band honestly, it strikes me as somewhat watered down "angry white boy" music, but the lyrics are really intense and who does not want to hear a man whine for his one true love to electic guitar? But "one true love"? I dont know about all that.......
I think its kind of silly and all too tragic honestly. I just think you can truely love whatever, first boyfreinds, former spouses, ice cream, lamp, its all the same. And I do think that one can stop loving anyone and anything they choose to "true love" or not. Who would we be if we didnt? Me, I would stil be kissing posters of Donnie Wahlberg. Oh man thats sad! Oh we went to see Pirates of the Caribean today obviously my crush on Johnny Depp has happily endured since my younger years. It was not as good as the first but it he was funny and good ofcourse. I am knitting a new purse from a pattern I thought up last night and its going to be adorable.

I have been tremendously busy lately, I am starting to knit a large book bag purse, and I am reading alote lately. I am working on A Woman In Berlin. It is fantastic, its interesting and heartbreaking and amusing. Its about the Red Armys victory in Berlin and its shocking and sweet. It was written as a diary by a reporter who wished to keep her identity hidden. I think everyone should read it honestly! I am so into Project Runway but have been somewhat dismayed by who has been eliminated and who has been allowed to stay despite lack of talent and vision. Been going swimming and petted a huge horse not much else.

I finished my dress and I totally love it! It is no great feat for anyone else but for me its a huge accomplishment and I am very proud! Its kind of boho or casual chic a little too much so for me but I will wear it proudly. I worked hard on the straps and I did not have enough spare material so I resorted to making them out of some really pretty hemming fabric I found and you would never know that it wasnt intentionally made that way. Perhaps I will wear it to my party this weekend if it is very hot outside, it is after all long enough to cover my unfortunate legs!

The Svengali of Old Brooklyn
This is a long and rambly but wellworth it story of the yogic mind reader who lives nearby.
Years ago ofcourse when I was under 21 I frequented a local bar that did not card minors. I was in the mindst of a stupid and angsty break up and had went to see a local band scream along to cover songs by The Cranberries and Ks Choice. During the show, an older very bearded long haired man was rocking out near me and my friend Chachigirl. He was clearly drunk and middle aged. This man who looked very much like Gordon from Violent Femmes abruptly sat down with us with no invitation and started to speak. I must say this mans voice was high and feminine, on the phone he must very regularly be mistaken for a girl. The first words we heard from him were "hiiiiiiii I look like Gordon from The Violent Femmes, my name is Fred." He asked our names and made some small talk like, "I love to get high and I know you are not 21 but I won't tell."

He was something very different than all the others at the bar. I refused to walk alone with him that night to go to his home. But I did remember the directions he gave me and the next day my friend Sponge and I made plans to go visit with him.

On the way there we both agree to not get into anything that would make us vulnerable or skew reality since he was older and very weird. Fred came to the door and looked very thrilled to see us. He invited us in and we immediatly renigged on our agreement not to do anything dumb. After getting really chewed Fred told us he could read our minds. Me I just laughed on the outside but secretly wondered if it was all real. He told Sponge some pretty weird and mean things about herself and she left the room to weep in her hazey sadness. Fred proceeded to nag me into trying to chew tobacco which I did with gusto for about ten seconds then quickly vommitted in the kitchen. Sponge returned and gave me some eye contact to get the hell out of there. We agreed he was nuts and vowed never to return to him and his awesome party favors again! Ofcourseeveryday we went over there and every night we promised to never do it again. His house was neat but dusty and there were posters everwhere of Barb Wire and Tori Amos and any other female under the sun. Another odd thing about Fred was he must have had every cd by every female recording artist from now until way back in the sixties but he did not own any by any males. No Beatles, no Pink Floyd nothing like that at all.

Fred was incredibly peculiar and while we overlooked it in our baked out states once sober we very concerned. Fred continued with the ruse that he could read our minds and we continued to go back and forth over believing and not believing until around Christmas time.

Once when we stopped over to watch the Wizard of Oz and get retarded Fred handed me a small box and told me "happy holidays" while giving Spongey a dirty look. I opened the box and to my horror it contained diamond earrings! I was shocked I did not want to have any romance with Fred and if he had infact read my mind like the guru he thought he was, well he would have known not only that but also that I do have pierced ears and never will. Sponge laughed heartily and snapped a picture, then icomanded me to put them on right then knowing I could not! I explained that I could not do that and Fred looked crestfallen. He did tell me to keep them and if I ever needed money I could pawn them in a pinch. I felt sad for Fred until a half hour later when he tried repeatedly to get us to go down to his basement for the first time. We were to scared! I imagine hairy drooling monsters that would devore us. Sponge said later she thought we would be held captive perhaps. It was truely frightening and we then agreed and mean it when we said we could not go back to that house! Ofcourse we did once more but only to return some Tijuana books we had taken home to look through.

Years later we saw him clearly drunk and high at a Tori concert, our party days were long gone and we quickly ran the other way and hope to never ever see this man again! Dear Lord Please help Fred to live a good life and be happy but keep him far from us!