The Svengali of Old Brooklyn
This is a long and rambly but wellworth it story of the yogic mind reader who lives nearby.
Years ago ofcourse when I was under 21 I frequented a local bar that did not card minors. I was in the mindst of a stupid and angsty break up and had went to see a local band scream along to cover songs by The Cranberries and Ks Choice. During the show, an older very bearded long haired man was rocking out near me and my friend Chachigirl. He was clearly drunk and middle aged. This man who looked very much like Gordon from Violent Femmes abruptly sat down with us with no invitation and started to speak. I must say this mans voice was high and feminine, on the phone he must very regularly be mistaken for a girl. The first words we heard from him were "hiiiiiiii I look like Gordon from The Violent Femmes, my name is Fred." He asked our names and made some small talk like, "I love to get high and I know you are not 21 but I won't tell."
He was something very different than all the others at the bar. I refused to walk alone with him that night to go to his home. But I did remember the directions he gave me and the next day my friend Sponge and I made plans to go visit with him.
On the way there we both agree to not get into anything that would make us vulnerable or skew reality since he was older and very weird. Fred came to the door and looked very thrilled to see us. He invited us in and we immediatly renigged on our agreement not to do anything dumb. After getting really chewed Fred told us he could read our minds. Me I just laughed on the outside but secretly wondered if it was all real. He told Sponge some pretty weird and mean things about herself and she left the room to weep in her hazey sadness. Fred proceeded to nag me into trying to chew tobacco which I did with gusto for about ten seconds then quickly vommitted in the kitchen. Sponge returned and gave me some eye contact to get the hell out of there. We agreed he was nuts and vowed never to return to him and his awesome party favors again! Ofcourseeveryday we went over there and every night we promised to never do it again. His house was neat but dusty and there were posters everwhere of Barb Wire and Tori Amos and any other female under the sun. Another odd thing about Fred was he must have had every cd by every female recording artist from now until way back in the sixties but he did not own any by any males. No Beatles, no Pink Floyd nothing like that at all.
Fred was incredibly peculiar and while we overlooked it in our baked out states once sober we very concerned. Fred continued with the ruse that he could read our minds and we continued to go back and forth over believing and not believing until around Christmas time.
Once when we stopped over to watch the Wizard of Oz and get retarded Fred handed me a small box and told me "happy holidays" while giving Spongey a dirty look. I opened the box and to my horror it contained diamond earrings! I was shocked I did not want to have any romance with Fred and if he had infact read my mind like the guru he thought he was, well he would have known not only that but also that I do have pierced ears and never will. Sponge laughed heartily and snapped a picture, then icomanded me to put them on right then knowing I could not! I explained that I could not do that and Fred looked crestfallen. He did tell me to keep them and if I ever needed money I could pawn them in a pinch. I felt sad for Fred until a half hour later when he tried repeatedly to get us to go down to his basement for the first time. We were to scared! I imagine hairy drooling monsters that would devore us. Sponge said later she thought we would be held captive perhaps. It was truely frightening and we then agreed and mean it when we said we could not go back to that house! Ofcourse we did once more but only to return some Tijuana books we had taken home to look through.
Years later we saw him clearly drunk and high at a Tori concert, our party days were long gone and we quickly ran the other way and hope to never ever see this man again! Dear Lord Please help Fred to live a good life and be happy but keep him far from us!
This is a long and rambly but wellworth it story of the yogic mind reader who lives nearby.
Years ago ofcourse when I was under 21 I frequented a local bar that did not card minors. I was in the mindst of a stupid and angsty break up and had went to see a local band scream along to cover songs by The Cranberries and Ks Choice. During the show, an older very bearded long haired man was rocking out near me and my friend Chachigirl. He was clearly drunk and middle aged. This man who looked very much like Gordon from Violent Femmes abruptly sat down with us with no invitation and started to speak. I must say this mans voice was high and feminine, on the phone he must very regularly be mistaken for a girl. The first words we heard from him were "hiiiiiiii I look like Gordon from The Violent Femmes, my name is Fred." He asked our names and made some small talk like, "I love to get high and I know you are not 21 but I won't tell."
He was something very different than all the others at the bar. I refused to walk alone with him that night to go to his home. But I did remember the directions he gave me and the next day my friend Sponge and I made plans to go visit with him.
On the way there we both agree to not get into anything that would make us vulnerable or skew reality since he was older and very weird. Fred came to the door and looked very thrilled to see us. He invited us in and we immediatly renigged on our agreement not to do anything dumb. After getting really chewed Fred told us he could read our minds. Me I just laughed on the outside but secretly wondered if it was all real. He told Sponge some pretty weird and mean things about herself and she left the room to weep in her hazey sadness. Fred proceeded to nag me into trying to chew tobacco which I did with gusto for about ten seconds then quickly vommitted in the kitchen. Sponge returned and gave me some eye contact to get the hell out of there. We agreed he was nuts and vowed never to return to him and his awesome party favors again! Ofcourseeveryday we went over there and every night we promised to never do it again. His house was neat but dusty and there were posters everwhere of Barb Wire and Tori Amos and any other female under the sun. Another odd thing about Fred was he must have had every cd by every female recording artist from now until way back in the sixties but he did not own any by any males. No Beatles, no Pink Floyd nothing like that at all.
Fred was incredibly peculiar and while we overlooked it in our baked out states once sober we very concerned. Fred continued with the ruse that he could read our minds and we continued to go back and forth over believing and not believing until around Christmas time.
Once when we stopped over to watch the Wizard of Oz and get retarded Fred handed me a small box and told me "happy holidays" while giving Spongey a dirty look. I opened the box and to my horror it contained diamond earrings! I was shocked I did not want to have any romance with Fred and if he had infact read my mind like the guru he thought he was, well he would have known not only that but also that I do have pierced ears and never will. Sponge laughed heartily and snapped a picture, then icomanded me to put them on right then knowing I could not! I explained that I could not do that and Fred looked crestfallen. He did tell me to keep them and if I ever needed money I could pawn them in a pinch. I felt sad for Fred until a half hour later when he tried repeatedly to get us to go down to his basement for the first time. We were to scared! I imagine hairy drooling monsters that would devore us. Sponge said later she thought we would be held captive perhaps. It was truely frightening and we then agreed and mean it when we said we could not go back to that house! Ofcourse we did once more but only to return some Tijuana books we had taken home to look through.
Years later we saw him clearly drunk and high at a Tori concert, our party days were long gone and we quickly ran the other way and hope to never ever see this man again! Dear Lord Please help Fred to live a good life and be happy but keep him far from us!
posted by clevepunkrockgirle at 7:18 PM
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